So you've spent some money on kit, petrol, food, conference fees, that ''you've checked out in advance'' can be reimbursed from an Elvis grant. How do you get it back?

Follow this insanely complicated procedure:

1. tape all receipts securely to sheets of a4 printer paper.
2. number all the receipts
3. write a letter or email
   1. - saying what you are claiming for
   2. - listing all receipts (by number, date, amount)
   3. - saying where they should be paid to (e.g. if you're on salary can be paid with it otherwise I think you need bank account details) ''if you are working on a VicLink grant'' you can fill out their application form
4. print out the letter or email
5. photocopy the letter/email and the reciepts
6. give me the original letter/email and reciepts
7. email me a soft-copy of the letter/email
8. keep the photocopies yourself - in case something gets lost! - for five years for tax reasons
9. a note will magically arrive in the internal mail saying you're about to be reimbursed

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PS: How do you know if you can claim things from a grant?

• You are working on a project that is supported by a grant
  • Marsden projects
  • Internal research fund projects
  • Commercially funded development or research
• You ask the person with the grant (most likely a staff member) 'before' you spend the money!
• You have followed the arbitrary and complex ElvisTravelRules